Who doesn't want a free trip?

 It's a free trip to one of the most beautiful spots in America! Nestled snugly on the Long Island Sound, this precious America gem of a town is the home to, ummm, buildings? Oh yeah! Steve Wikos and Mr DNA himself, Maury Povich! You'd be a total dipshit to reject such an amazing opportunity for a few free nights in this Americana treasure!

                                                     YOURS TRULY,

                                                       PERSNICKS

 Come on guuurrrrlll! Grams is paying!

 Agreed. You are trashy and totally fit in to the demographic of this American Classic!

 You read that right, she already bought the birth certificate and forgot to get a gift receipt! Damn! I hope it fits ok?!?

 

 Way to go Anon 7! As Meatloaf once crooned, You took the words right out of my mouth!

 

 Hmmmmmmmmm, good point!

 He'll save a seat for ya!

 Come on! Free tickets! It's a great place for a first date!!!

 Bitch! You made Snooks cry! Now that wasn't very nice of you!

Just in case you're still not convinced,

 Ain't it a puuurty quaint little place! Ratchet Heaven!