and the Trolling Awards go to....




















TardisROSE for :
my fil masturbated to cafemom 
My Fil is staying at my house for a week. I left cafe mom up on my laptop and I went up to go to bed. I went downstairs to get water from the kitchen and there he was, jacking off to one of the posts on here


ButterMeUp for:
I'm a truck stop prostitute, ask me anything!
Little back ground: I'm 27 and have a 7 yo son. We live in middle GA and I drive to a stop in Metter for my work. I've been in this life for 2 years going on 3. My son does not know but my mom, she watches him for me, thinks I still dance. I don't do drugs and I'm a Christian. I plan on stopping once I graduate, get a job, and have saved up enough for a good down payment on a house on the better side of town for myself, my son, and my mom.

I do it in order to pay for my degree in B.F at a local C.College, my son's school tuition, and our living expenses. I make pretty good money, well enough to support us with a little extras. We are not on any type of aid and I do pay self employment taxes under my false cup cake business


AND

I sell my foodstamps. ASK ME ANYTHING. 
I'm 22 and we get about 400 monthly and another 200 in WIC. I only use my WIC and about another hundred or so of my FS a month. I sell the rest or make cakes/pies/ect to sell. I know it's wrong but I really have no other choice. I'm only working part time on base (only job I could find that I could qualify for) and I'm in school. My pay is just enough to give my mom a little rent money and pay my car note. I sell my FS to pay for a little gas and small things my son needs plus some never basic necessities. We don't eat out, go to the movies, or anything.

Ask me anything.


AND

I bought my 15 y/o DD a vibrater.

We have always had a really open relationship about sex and her boyfriends. Shes been dating her current for abut a year and half, he is a a junior. Last week she went on a group date to our county fair. A couple days later she ask if she could be placed on the pill. I told her sure. I ask her why and if she was ready. She told told me at the fair she and her boyfriend "hooked up" (oral sex). She said after that it was kinda awkward and both of them felt weird about it. She said she doesn't think either of them are really ready to go there yet but that when they are together it's just kinda hard to stop (hence the want for pills).

 I told her that they both are probably not ready for sex but more sexually frustrated than anything else. I told her thats completely normal and that sex before both of them are really ready isnt the answer. She knows sex is a very emotional act, especially your first, and can't be taken back. I also told her there are things they an do as a couple and be herself to releave some of the tension. I talkedher about heavy petting and mutual masturbation and sex toys (for her own personal use). We talked about setting limits and protecttion a little more indepthly than before.

e looked up sex toys on amazon and I helped her pick something out small and talked to her about proper care for it when it get's here. We also discussed putting her on depo. We went and bought condoms for her room and purse, dental dams, spermacide from amazon.

I'm proud of her for being open with me. I would rather know and help than not know and pop up with a grand child or her being regretful for doing something she was not prepared for. I hope that when she really is ready she will come to me again.

How would you have handled it?


AND
Woop! I just got back from a gloryhole!  

I took an early lunch to go meet some other people at a gloryhole. Its inside of a bookstore and only for lunch and right before closing around 4. I have to go during lunch because my kids get out of daycare at 3.30.

Anywhoo I've been trying to get a closet for about 3 weeks now. It's always culled by the time I get there. I was able to go early and got a closet.

I ask if either man was married, both said no so hopefully that was truthful. I'm might like to act a little sluttly from time to time but I'm no home wecker.

Have any of you ladies been to one?
Posted by Anonymous on Jun. 11, 2013 at 11:45 AM 




Stephy87 for Martha




PinkyLouwho430 for
Masturbating my Kitten - FINAL UPDATE ITS DONE

I have a small kitten. She is 5 months old, and she was acting weird today. She kept rubbing her privates along anything she could find and she kept licking herself. I was very worried about this.

We do not allow "self pleasure" in our homes, especially by young kids (or animals for that matter).i called the vet to explain this predicament and he said she's going into heat. I refuse to have kitten uterus blood all over my things. Plus my kids will ask lots about it and they are too young to learn about that kind of stuff.

Google said you can use a qtip (masturbating them) to force a cat out of heat. Has anyone tried this? Can I be charged for like kitten masturbation by force? She's getting fixed as soon as she's over this.

UPDATE: DH has offered to do it when he gets home tonight from work and the kids in the bed so that he can help if need be. He's also picking up gloves and we have Q-tips.


It's done. The description pinned it right. She moaned and screeched and really didn't move much. As soon as she was done she got up and went to lay on the couch but the q-tip was still in her. When DH tried to get it out she got upset so he waited a few minutes before trying again.



epoh for
Omg I can't believe this just happened to me. Someone help! *UPDATE*
I got horny. I was taking a shower right after it happened so I decided to use my shower head. Well, my husband has this thing with fisting me so I decided to "fist" myself with the shower head.



It's stuck.



Omg!



Someone help! What should I do?



UPDATE
my husband came home. I called him right after this happened. He grabbed some lotion and Vaseline and the combo of the two with some bearing down helped get it out.

Yes, I keep my phone in the bathroom when u shower. No, I'm not a troll. These things happen. Yes my shower head is small, and yes my vagina can stretch (because of the fisting).

I thought I'd let you all know. Thanks for the suggestions.
Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 27, 2012 at 7:01 PM



laura_simss for her 10 million troll posts.




Mel0dy for her apple vag
http://www.cafemom.com/group/115189/forums/read/17393943/I_have_a_apple_stuck_in_my_EDIT

You know where..... WHAT DO I DO? please help I can't go to the ER my BIL works there.

Thanks for all the help ladies not................. I tried to squat and push but it did not work so I ended up using a fork and I pulled it right out. But now i'm bleeding a little bit. is that okay?
Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 2, 2012 at 12:36 AM

















75 comments:

  1. It was almost worth getting kicked out of Confessions to out the anons!

    ReplyDelete
  2. teal phoenix had a fuck ton too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, a lot of hers were about fat people. I'm shocked.

      Delete
    2. And she had one abut bing raped by her step-dad and getting pregnant. Not cool.

      Delete
    3. Which other ones were Teal's?!?

      Delete
  3. Not fucking cool. I've posted a few personal things for the sake of being anonymous and now people will know. I hope this fuckomg thing is fixed because none of this is funny.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know :(
      I'm just doing the obviously fake and funny ones.
      I see a lot of rape posts being bumped :(

      You should go in and delete your personal posts.

      Delete
    2. The admins are too busy banning people to fix the problem. It's ridiculous.

      Delete
    3. Too bad I fucking cant, Im banned from mc and I only fpund out because I had so many notification and logged out to see whats up. None of my personal ones have been bumped yet and idgaf about the troll ones but I still hope this shit ends soon.

      Delete
    4. You can ask admins to delete for you, but who knows how long that will take them.
      They're laying the ban hammer down pretty hard tonight.

      Delete
    5. They need to just lock up the groups that have the anon option until they fix the glitch. That would make far too much sense though

      Delete
    6. They actually kicked me off the entire fucking site. WTF?

      Delete
  4. Look up Apple, Spork and Showerhead (things stuck up in bad places!) I believe I got all the names listed on the posts.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. In case its easier: http://www.cafemom.com/group/115189/forums/read/17393943/I_have_a_apple_stuck_in_my_EDIT?next=241
      http://www.cafemom.com/group/115189/forums/read/16723789/Too_embarassed_to_go_to_ER_help_Ok_dr_called_New_update_Last_update?next=701

      Delete
  5. Really? The 504 one you posted was personal. Not funny or obviously fake.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yea, except I really don't give two shits about her, or even believe that half of what she posts is real.

      Delete
    2. We need a like button. Your reply made me laugh.

      Delete
  6. JLS2388 is another one who has posted ALOT of troll posts.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She had a TON of them.

      Delete
  7. Lol! I found out today! I was let back into MC like two days ago and I got a few notifications for a troll post I made a few weeks ago lmao! I'm not too worried, I deleted anything personal right after I got the answers I needed, just a few troll posts that are mostly silly and the rest I'm not anon. I'm kind of shocked that the one I had with 300 comments wasn't bumped lol it's probably the grossest one I have ever posted...

    ReplyDelete
  8. It is sad people stoop so low as to try to out anons when there is a glitch. Some of them are personal that people want to keep private. I left cm a month or so ago. Now I know I won't be back. People whine about the cm admin staff having favorites. Well so do all the members. The difference is you all come here to tear each other down. It is sad to see.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Thank god I only posted obviously fake troll posts!

    ReplyDelete
  10. The glitch is still there.

    ReplyDelete
  11. http://www.cafemom.com/group/115189/forums/read/18168770/Yep_Ive_aborted_twice?next=11 AVSpecWife4, tsk tsk

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That wasn't a troll. She's just not ashamed of it, and had quite a few in-depth discussions going on in the post with people.

      Delete
  12. LucyHourglass thought she gave herself and std the first time she masturbated http://www.cafemom.com/group/115189/forums/read/18604338/The_first_time_I_masturbated_I_thought_I_gave_myself_an_STD?next=11

    ReplyDelete
  13. i_am_no_1 http://www.cafemom.com/group/115189/forums/read/18781745/Im_married_monogamous_and_have_an_std?next=11

    ReplyDelete
  14. PinkyLouWho had help from NAILEDIT

    and I lost my anon last night :(

    ReplyDelete
  15. Laura_simms said she was you-is this true?

    ReplyDelete
  16. No one cared enough to unmask me... **cries** Lol. And my post was even featured!

    ReplyDelete
  17. ugh no fun. mine didn't make it?
    I got damn near 600 bitches panties in a bunch over my Walmart comment.



    hahahahhaahahahhaah

    ReplyDelete
  18. Who was the chord blood troll? I have seen a couple people mention it now in mc.

    ReplyDelete
  19. I'm still amazed at some of these. So glad I have fought the temptation to troll.

    ReplyDelete
  20. I call BULLSHIT on those saying they are BANNED for outing the ANONS I did the same - multi times and I'm still in. So did many others.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I lost my anon. Its stupid that some of us were punished while others weren't. It wasn't a huge deal. Yeah some people took it too far with obviously real posts but those of us who did it to ones we knew were jokes or just trolls I don't see what the big deal was. Plus I only outed 4 or 5 before I got my button taken there were others doing without anon and they did it more than me.

      Delete
  21. I know there were a lot but can anyone tell me what happened with purpleducky? I missed it and a lot of people were ticked at him/her.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. PD made an anon post confessing he lets a convicted sex offender watch his kids.

      Delete
    2. His post was that he let a registered sex offender (that he thinks is innocent/was wrongly accused) watch his kids. Its his wife's cousin I think it said.

      Delete
    3. OOOOOoooo thank you.

      Delete
    4. Yep. I'm disgusted actually :/

      Delete
    5. I always knew that he/she was a hypocrite. That just proved it.

      Delete
    6. Megan, you live in a motel and are the cps queen. You let you kids live in close quarters with perverts and addicts. Shut the fuck up.

      Delete
  22. That kitten masturbation is disgusting! You have to be a special kind of fucked up to even think about that!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't like cats. And people get so crazy about animals.

      Delete
  23. Two people lost their anon after calling me out on my post. I removed it right away, but I saw this morning they got their button taken. Sucks to be you bitches!

    ReplyDelete
  24. I got in late into the action and didn't really see any of the good troll posts.

    ReplyDelete
  25. I outed ONE person and lost my anon!

    ReplyDelete
  26. I lost my anonymous button and I wasnt even here for all the bullshit drama.

    -BEXi

    ReplyDelete
  27. i did the "i want my stepfather to be my sperm donor" and "only the second day of school and dd's teacher already has 2 strikes." i deleted those, the sperm donor one was outed and i just deleted the other one before it could be. notifications on old posts are annoying. my other ones are still up though. :o) im glad i never post anything serious on cm. i felt bad for a few of the anons outed last night.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Really D lmfao.

      Delete
    2. i get bored when hes on the rig. lol. im really in awe of laura simms, though. who knew?! i usually stay away from the heavier topics. most of my others are funny.

      Delete
    3. That post was all kinds of fucked up. Bravo.

      Delete
    4. I was all kinds of wrapped up in the sperm donor one, haha. You should blog, you're a very good, and very creative writer.

      Delete
  28. Was lapcounter outed? For what?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I would like to know this too.

      Delete
    2. Poor people being jealous of rich people, I believe it was mentioned...

      Delete
    3. She lives in a trailer.

      Delete
    4. No way.I believe she has money, I still think she's a bitch.

      Delete
  29. You said your list is being updated, but you haven't update it yet! I'm sooooo disappointed!!!! Lol. Just kidding. ;)

    P.S. 4Fam, go away. No one has forgotten about your child neglect or your fucking another man while your husband slept in the next room.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'll go wherever I want to, fuck you very much.

      Delete
    2. Because she doesn't watch her kids and she lives in a motel with junkies and prostitutes.

      Delete
  30. http://www.cafemom.com/group/115189/forums/read/18966942/Get_it_out_here?next=181

    She is literally making me want to throw up in my mouth with the things she is saying in her "defense" thread. Can't even admit she was outed and now she minimizing child molestation.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. People are kissing her butt like always. It's nauseating.

      Delete
  31. Thank you all for the quick recap! Now I don't have to sort through a shit ton of this stuff.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is not even near all of them. You should visit cliffnotes.

      Delete
  32. I didn't think mine was special enough, so I didn't bother deleting. But FML , I got outed. Luckily I think only thevone person saw before I deleted, lol. Otherwise, it was a fantastic night.

    ReplyDelete
  33. One of my my threads was bumped (the car wreck) but that wasn't a troll post. I do wonder who was so obsessed with knowing who it was. That post was almost a freaking year old! It was just the truth lol

    ReplyDelete
  34. I'm anon in that group all the time. luckily I don't even make posts and when I do they are usually not even interesting and never get replies. I have made a shit ton of anon replies though. :). The only thing is, I think it was kind of lame for people to lose anons for calling out the OP's names. It was the CM team who had the names showing. People were simply just noting them and calling it back.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Can you still see who posted anon?

    ReplyDelete